More Kingdom Hearts Crack

[auronlu]

It's really bizarre to have a game exploiting the voice-acting talents of Brian Blessed, Christopher Lee, Bruce Boxleitner (Tron! Why have I never seen that film!?) and as many of the VAs as possible (Mulan! Aladdin! Pooh Bear! Ariel! Megaira! Jack Skellington!) and then to have Aerith voiced by someone who sounds as bad as some of the worst dubs of FFX. It's a pity, since it's made what might have been an amusing scene with Cloud (now serving as earthquake-proofing by propping up walls with his Angst) unwatchable.

On the other hand, the crack, it is beautiful.

Most of the game is typical self-insert -- ahem, Sora-insert fanfiction, but every now and then, I think the designers locked themselves in the Tiki Room for 24 hours with lots of caffeine and sugar.

Tifa wandering through at random intervals, smashing the walls within a joule of structural failure, scaring the bejeezus out of the party and wandering off with a vague smile is making me cackle. If she ever finds Mr. Angst, will she pound him into a pancake with little spikey yellow bits sticking out? I hope so, because otherwise "Tifa searching for her Man" is not quite so entertaining.

Or, better, I want a Tifa minigame in which one gets to beat clues into various Final Fantasy characters. You could start out with easy characters like Lulu and Zidane and work your way up to the real blockheads. I would consider some of them impossible, except that apparently Tifa's fists are no longer using regular Strength and Agility stats, but have been converted to the Richter Scale.
 
An incredibly minor moment in an incredibly complex and HUGE game, but, anyway.

So far, I have felt that pretty much all the worlds are engrossing and the storylines in each were fanfiction immersion of the sort I like (even for the two whose films I haven't seen, Tarzan and Tron). The only one that fell flat was Pirates of the Carribbean. It felt to me like what happens when I or many fans attempt fanart: at best, a stiff, flat, and somewhat inadequate attempt to capture something of the original, with no original spark. Odd, because the graphics were quite good. I think excerpting the "best movie quotes" and stringing them together as a synopsis of the movie was a little too restrictive; Mulan, the only other one where they basically recapitulated the film instead of doing a fanfiction set in that universe, also had a bit of the same problem.

Entering the Winnie-the-Pooh world through a pop-up book is pinging my MYST (and Manhole) nostalgia.

The minigames are going to kill me, though. Arthirtis is missing turn-based play. It's a good thing most battles can be won with flailing, because I am simply not quick enough to get off much magic in a system like this.

Comments

[cygna-hime.livejournal.com]

I would approve so much of a minigame in which Tifa beats on people until they acquire clues. Because so many people need it. (Is it normal for me to want to dropkick Cloud after his scene of Angst and Drama? Or at least to get buckets of brightly-colored paint and dump them over him, thereby foiling his attempt to dress in a properly Angsty and Serious manner?)

I wasn't fond of the PotC-world art style, either. It was neither fish nor fowl, and so neither did it resemble the movie nor did Sora fit into the animation style.

[animecrush.livejournal.com]

I think my least favorite of the worlds was the PotC world as well. I also thought the design looked clunky compared to the rest of the cast and I spent 90% of the time cursing at the TV because I couldn't get the stupid pirates to get into the moonlight for me to beat them soundly. (Yes, just sit in the stupid shadows and shoot at me while I can do NOTHING to you in return. Thanks, really.)

Oh and the boss battles in that world were aggrivating enough to keep me from wanting to replay the game.