Love Her and Despair Remaster [32]

[auronlu]

Title: Love Her and Despair
Chapter 32: "Thaw Before the Storm"
Final Fantasy X/X-2 AU
Characters: Paine/Nooj, Auron, Isaaru
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3600
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The Story So Far: Sin has destroyed most of Isaaru's aeons, leaving him with no choice but to use a fearsome weapon from a thousand-year-old war. Now allies and estranged friends prepare for the final showdown.

Juno pulled the old Crusader's blanket tighter around her shoulders. Night had fallen. Snow was beginning to collect in the nooks and seams of Vegnagun's pitted skin. A low tremulous hum hinted that the machina was not quite dormant. Far below, the lake creaked under the weight of its feet slowly settling into the ice. Pyreflies drifted up from the frozen surface, mingling with the fog.

A drone of engines rumbled across the lake and faded. Juno raised her rifle and peered out. Minutes later, Nooj emerged from the darkness, passed her parked snowsled, and limped across the broken ground. He halted under Vegnagun's head. "May I come up? I'm unarmed."

"Fine." Juno lowered her rifle.

Nooj's limbs clanked against the hull as he pulled himself up. Juno tensed with every sound, but left him to find his own way. At last, he rolled over the top and into the cockpit beside her feet, chest heaving. Dusted white, the ropes of his hair rattled against the deck.

"Does Baralai know you're here?" she demanded.

"No."

"So. What are you doing here?"

"Wanting to talk." He raised his eyes. "If you still want to talk."

She hesitated, then held out the edge of the blanket. The lumps sewn into its layers were fire marbles, shining through the fabric like glow worms.

The simple gesture triggered a flood of emotion behind his eyes. Hitching around in the cramped quarters, Nooj leaned back against her legs. Metal armor regulated the contact in a way her old leathers had not. She drew the blanket around them and resumed scanning the fog.

"Why didn't you ever try to contact me?" she said.

"I thought you were dead."

"Don't lie, Nooj. I heard what Shuyin said. You weren't sure."

"And if I had sought you out, don't you think he would have made sure?" Years of pent-up frustration lanced through Nooj's voice like a fish-hook. "If you lived, you were a threat to him. Gippal and Baralai, too, but you most of all. Sooner or later, you would have realized I wasn't myself." His hands clenched. "I nearly killed Shinra a month ago, and he's just a friend."

Juno exhaled, breath frosting over his head. "Nooj. I'm sorry I stopped looking for you."

"You looked? Gods, I'm glad you didn't find me."

"I suppose I am too. Pacce caught me offguard, but you—” She grimaced. "So. You've been with the Al Bhed. Doing what?"

"Salvaging machina. Not entirely my idea, but it was fascinating work." He tipped his head back, a hint of regret in his eyes. "'Friend' is the wrong word. Shinra's almost a son to me. I gather you've also picked up a protegé?"

"Eh?" She frowned. "Oh, Pacce? It's not like that. Maroda asked me to help whip him into shape for their next pilgrimage."

"And Baralai?" His voice softened. "You two seem close."

"Nooj—"

"Juno, I don't mind. It's been thirteen years. I wanted you to be happy."

"So did I." She snorted. "Baralai wasn't the answer."

"Oh. I'm sorry. In that case, I'm glad you two are still speaking to each other."

"I left for a few years. Did some exploring. I worked on a cargo ship for a while, but..."

"It didn't fly."

"Exactly."

"Maybe we can get you up in Gippal's airship."

"I'd... like that," she said. "But I have duties. Baralai needs me."

"Which is why he posted the captain of the guard in a snowbank eight leagues outside the city?"

"Someone has to keep an eye on this thing." She glared at the darkened keyboard. Vegnagun shifted uneasily.

"I gather there's no love lost between you and Baralai's pet." Nooj's chuckle died away. "You know what he's planning, don't you?"

"Protect Vegnagun," she said bitterly, "at any cost."

"Another Deathseeker. I suppose I set a bad example." Nooj closed his eyes. "We can't let him throw his life away, Juno. Which is why... I know this is much to ask, but I need you to teach me how to fly Vegnagun."

"Is that why you came out here?" She stiffened. "So you can take his place?"

"I came here to start getting to know Juno," Nooj said. "But Baralai needs our help. Someone has to keep him from diving into the Farplane."

"No."

"Juno—"

"I already asked. He said no. If he doesn't trust me, he certainly won't trust you."

"Then we'll have to make it worth his while. Listen. Unlike Baralai, I have piloted machina, not only in simulation. And while the interface is like nothing I've seen before, I'm familiar with how machina think. My experience may be the edge we need to win."

"Maybe." She mulled over his words, expression masked by her helm. "On one condition."

"Name it."

"Survive. You can't atone for what happened by sacrificing yourself in his place."

Nooj gave a wry chuckle. "You know me too well. All right. Going into a battle with Sin and Vegnagun, we could all be killed, but I'll do what I can to avoid it. is that enough?"

"Almost." She gazed down at him, measuring. "You do realize that you'll have to lower your guard completely for this? Vegnagun's interface only works if you allow it access to your mind." "If you can do it, I can do it." "Baralai's going to kill me." She peeled off her gloves. "Get up here."

Pacce had finally succumbed to sleep just before dawn. Leaving him to rest, Isaaru and Auron had returned to the citadel, retracing the path that Juno had used to lead the others back to the surface. Auron recalled the last time it had been just one guardian and one summoner, seeking Bevelle's fayth over a lifetime ago. Guardian and summoner, fayth and faith: these had been simpler relationships once.

The doors of the lift opened. Auron peered out, then closed the doors and keyed the next floor.

"I'm sorry," Isaaru said. "I should have memorized what floor it was."

"You had other things on your mind." Auron frowned, noticing how Isaaru swayed each time the elevator moved. "You are unwell. We should return later."

"No!" His lips peeled back from his teeth in a frantic smile. "I must see the fayth. I'm fine, Sir Auron. It's merely fatigue."

"I see," Auron said, unconvinced. Grief would explain Isaaru's lethargy, but his symptoms had begun well before Maroda's death. Auron guessed one cause: loss of his aeons had taken a heavy toll on the man's spirit. But something had happened to him during their stay with the Al Bhed. Perhaps Sin's toxin had aggravated grief and loss, but Auron could not shake the feeling that Isaaru's inner keel had snapped.

Isaaru watched him operate the controls with vague curiosity. "You still don't trust me, do you?"

"I trust no one, Isaaru. Myself included."

"Liar." The summoner's chuckle did not reach his eyes. "You trust Sin, don't you?"

"Sometimes."

Several floors down, a Tonberry crouched outside the doors as if waiting for a ride. Isaaru lunged for the controls as its lantern bathed Auron in yellow light. Even that brief exposure was enough to leave the guardian in a sweating heap on the floor. Isaaru applied Cura as soon as the doors closed.

"Maroda always hated those creatures," Isaaru said.

"So did Lulu."

Isaaru staggered again as the lift dropped. "Sir Auron? There is something I should tell you. I have not been quite frank with you concerning Lord Mika."

Auron tensed. Since the beginning of his pilgrimage, Isaaru had been lying about his predecessor's fate. Any unsent was a rogue factor, liable to turn up anywhere. Shuyin's ability to possess others had raised an unsettling possibility. "What about him?"

"I sent him, Sir Auron. Yevon forgive me, I sent Lord Mika, the most revered maester in history."

"You are sure?" Auron relaxed. "Impressive."

"Thank you." Isaaru said. "I suppose you have no reason to rue his passing. But for Yevon, it is yet another secret shame. Despite our good intentions, Baralai, Shelinda and I came to power via a coup."

"Not Lucil?" Auron had little interest in politics, but he wanted to confirm Mika's removal.

"No, her hands are clean. She was in Besaid, protecting the rebels. We never told her the true story."

"Which is?"

"Well." Isaaru hesitated, but his eyes brimmed with confession. "After my duel with Lady Yuna, I vowed to quit Bevelle and resume my pilgrimage. I thought you a traitor, so your words had no power to dissuade me. But the farther we travelled, the more difficult it was to walk with eyes closed. The Crusaders, excommunicated by Yevon, were rallying to protect the people. The warrior monks had imposed martial law in Bevelle, venturing forth only to punish Lady Yuna's sympathizers. And then we reached Mount Gagazet."

"Ah," said Auron. "So it was you that tended the Ronso."

"Yes." Isaaru passed a hand over his eyes. "I have never sent so many, not even after Operation Mi'ihen. We found Elder Kelk just before he died. His will for justice had kept him alive just long enough to pass on what he knew: Seymour's patricide, his murder of Kinoc, Lady Yuna's forced wedding, his plots against the Al Bhed, Ronso and Crusaders— all condoned by Grand Maester Mika. Worse still, both were unsent. My faith almost died that day.

"From Gagazet my brothers and I witnessed Lady Yuna's battle with Sin. I vowed on her memory that I would deliver Yevon from those who had corrupted it.

"On the way home, we fell in with Baralai, a young Crusader on the run. He advised us to flee the reprisals that were coming. But I could not leave Spira to her fate. Would Sin not return all the sooner, unless we atoned for Yevon's crimes? So I pressed him to accompany us back to Bevelle.

"There we found an ally in Shelinda. She had heard of Kinoc's murder from O'aka before his execution, but had dismissed it as the ravings of a trickster desperate to save his own skin. She could not discount a summoner's word so easily. Despite her misgivings, she arranged an audience with Lord Mika. We laid bare what we knew, begging him to step down with honor intact, repudiate Seymour's vile deeds, and entrust Spira's welfare to a new generation." Isaaru shook his head. "The interview did not go well."

Auron snorted. "Yuna tried something similar."

"Summoners do not easily deviate from the path set by Yevon," Isaaru said. "My brothers, Baralai and I were arrested, held for trial and execution. But that night, Shelinda released us and diverted the palace guards long enough for me to perform the sending."

"And then you claimed Mika's position."

"Not by design, whatever Baralai may say." The summoner gave an odd, strained laugh. "He sees too much of Seymour in me."

"So." Auron arched an eyebrow. "Why tell me now?"

"I needed to ask my fellow maesters."

"Isaaru." Auron glanced out and locked the door controls, sealing them in. "If you want my trust, there's one more thing I must know."

Isaaru wiped his eyes with his sleeve. "Yes?"

"What's wrong with you. The truth."

"Me?" He pushed away from the wall with a lurch, gesturing emphatically. "My brother dead, Yevon in shambles, my oldest aeon slated for sacrifice, and you ask what's wrong with me?"

Auron caught Isaaru's wrist, turning it over to show the underside of his cuff. The edge was was stained with a fresh red smear over brown.

Isaaru glanced down and blanched. "Erinyes," he said in a low voice. "The aeon Seymour used to massacre the Ronso: I have it now. But it was damaged during Sin's attack on Baaj. It's half-mad. It thinks I am Seymour."

"What?" Auron stared. "You can't use it, Isaaru."

"But if we must sacrifice Spathi, it's the only aeon I have left!"

"Which Yu Yevon could turn against us."

"You don't know that!" Isaaru's face contorted. "Dammit, man, why do you believe in Sin and nothing else? She's been Yu Yevon's slave for thirteen years. Who knows what thoughts are her own? Or are you telling me she destroyed the temples, Djose's Crusaders, Besaid Village of her own free will, just to avenge Lady Yuna? What kind of fiend is she? I cannot think you would cherish such a person, nor that Lady Rikku would vouch for a cold-blooded murderer!"

"That's enough." Auron's fingers tightened until Isaaru hissed in pain.

"There, you see? You love, whether or no you'll admit it! Else you would have abandoned this poor excuse for a summoner and sought the Farplane already. Your love helps you endure, Sir Auron, but it blurs your wisdom. The Lady has given you different answers, has she not? Which should we choose to believe? I say the aeons are a threat to Yu Yevon. If we cannot destroy Sin with machina, Erinyes is our last hope! Mad she may be, but Seymour's mother was a Final Aeon, misused as a means to power. I shall turn her to her proper purpose."

"Then Pacce will be brotherless."Auron regarded him sternly until he saw the words sink in. "Come."

Massaging his wrist, Isaaru followed him out to the guardian's antechamber, where Maroda's dried blood stained the floor. They crossed quickly and entered the fayth's inner sanctum. The summoner shuffled to the edge of the dais and knelt. Meditation might be beyond him, but the fayth was waiting.

"Isaaru. I'm glad you came." The hooded figure was sitting cross-legged upon the glassy lens that housed his statue. "I'm sorry about your brother."

"Thank you, old friend."

"Hello again," the spirit added to Sir Auron.

He nodded, planting himself by the door.

"Spathi—" It was the name the fayth had whispered to Isaaru when their souls merged; he did not flatter himself that he knew Zaon— "Do you know what we intend to do?"

"In part." The child tilted his head. "Do you?"

"In part," Isaaru said, rueful. "The Lady will come for you soon. Since we cannot turn her, we must move you away from the city to save it. Then we lay a trap. Baralai has salvaged a machina from the ancient wars which we hope will be powerful enough to destroy Sin once and for all."

"Once," the fayth said. "But not for all."

"What?" Isaau's voice quavered. "Is there no way to end this?"

The fayth turned his head, contemplating Sir Auron.

Auron stared back, frowning. "Yes?"

The fayth recited in a lilting singsong, "There he waited for her, and for one night only war was in abeyance. For then did Mars put off his shield and panoply to help renew her—"

Auron cut him off. "Venus and Mars." It was the pagan text which Lulu had read aloud on that sultry night in Besaid, when their thoughts kept straying from the astrological keys needed to unlock certain weapons. It was unsettling to hear it from a child's lips, but then, Zaon's childhood had ended a thousand years ago, along with innocence.

There was something else. What was it Lulu had said? "There's just one way I've found to keep Yu Yevon out for a while. One way... and it is a momentary diversion at most."

"So, I distract her," Auron said gruffly. "Then Vegnagun can strike."

"But if destroying Sin won't end Yu Yevon—" Isaaru began.

"Where is Yu Yevon?" Auron said.

Isaaru's eyes widened. "Inside Sin? We must penetrate its shell?"

"Vegnagun can breach the hull. The rest is up to us. Find Yu Yevon. Break the cycle. Your skill in sending may prove useful."

"Not if I send you again!"

Auron shrugged. "Get Yu Yevon, and it won't matter." It did matter, actually. He had unfinished business with Yunalesca. But if he could not stay to fulfill that task, he had a suspicion that someone else would see to it.

"A good plan." The fayth began to fade. "Don't take too long, Isaaru. Yu Yevon nearly controls Sin now. It will be difficult to fight him without her aid."

"I would rather have yours," Isaaru said. "I don't want to lose you, old friend. Isn't there some way to—"

"Please, Isaaru. Let us go." The fayth was no longer visible. "The Lady promised us an end. We're very tired. Will you release us?"

"Forgive me, old friend. I was not thinking. We'll set you free."

Auron helped the man to his feet. His cheeks were damp, but there was no fresh blood on them. They filed out of the chamber without a word.

Any chance for reflection was shattered by Rikku barreling across the room to pounce Auron. "Sooo-oooo, what's the plan?"

Isaaru blinked. "Lady Rikku, what are you doing here?"

RIkku tugged on Auron's coat. "Don't play dumb, Auron! You were up to something at the Council. You're always up to something. And you'd better be up to something, because if this is just an excuse to vaporize Lulu, you're gonna be doing it without Al Bhed help!"

"I believe we may have a plan to your liking, my lady," Isaaru said with a threadbare smile. "Sir Auron proposes to penetrate Sin's armor with Vegnagun, then confront Yu Yevon within. I take it this will be a rescue operation?"

"Oops." Rikku's eyes darted towards Isaaru. "He wasn't supposed to know, was he?"

Auron looked grim. "It's the only way to defeat Yu Yevon, Isaaru. You heard the fayth. Free Lulu, and she'll help us finish him off."

"Fear not," Isaaru said. "If saving your friend helps save Spira, why should I object? Although I fear we'll find little left to save."

"Nah. She's still in there. Yunie got a message from her, remember?" Rikku brandished a spanner. "All right. Let's get to work! Operation Mage Extraction, here we come!"

Half frozen, mashed into the cockpit hip to hip, Juno and Nooj had lost track of time, soaring in a thousand-year-old bubble. Juno's numb fingers beat out a spare melody of two-note intervals. Nooj was flying. Maimed limbs forgotten, he spun in a barrel roll over the smoking remains of Bevelle's armies and bellowed in triumph.

The simulation faded, leaving only the gray fog of dawn.

"I enjoyed that far too much," Nooj said. "I hope Shuyin didn't leave a residue."

"Don't be modest." Stretching, she started to remove her helm, then stopped.

"I'm hardly going to avert my eyes at a scar," he said. "I need to know what I did to you."

"Shuyin. It was Shuyin." Peeling it off, she shook loose a mane of silver-gray coming loose from her ponytail. The arch of one cheekbone was shattered, gouged by a deep furrow that showed bone at the back, scar tissue buckling at the edges like the weathered rim of the Calm Lands.

He reached out and traced her cheek below the scar. Her face tightened.

He withdrew his hand at once. "Sorry."

"No. I just need you to promise me something." She picked her words with care as Vegnagun trembled. "Once this is over, we find a way to send Vegnagun away. The Farplane. Anywhere."

"Agreed." He regarded her steadily. "Juno. I'm Al Bhed now. Machina are just tools. Not alive, and certainly not our friends."

"That's what I needed to hear." She leaned towards him, gripping the straps across his chest. Their lips were cold when they met, but neither seemed to mind.

---

Next Chapter: The Summons

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Chapter renumbering: Originally Chapter 36, posted Oct 2009. The Paine/Nooj dynamic is based largely on owlmoose's fanon.

Comments

[mintywolf]

Lulu hated Tonberries because they're in the Cavern of the Stolen Fayth. :|

I always kind of wondered about the effect that the loss of all the aeons at once at the end of FFX must have had on the summoners. Surely they must have felt the loss but none of them talk about it in X-2, not even Yuna.

A weighted blanket with fire marbles instead of glass beads sounds super cozy.