A few quick updates

[auronlu]

I just updated the Links page of the Auronlu Shrine to include the best shrines out there for each character, including one that's got soundclips of Lulu's original Japanes voice actor. Hm. I'm so used to that sultry purr, it's hard to decide which I prefer.

Resurrection III is causing me problems.

I'm going into a dark place. The problem is, when I write erotica, I feel everything the characters feel. I put myself completely into their heads (or at least into one of them; I'm sure you can tell whom). I'm doing this as catharsis and stress release and enjoyment. As soon as I start getting into disturbing, painful, and unpleasant trauma, I have to take it into my own soul, and it pops up in dreams and leaves fingerprints on me for days afterwards. That makes writing N/C very troubling for me. Moreover, I don't really like it when fanfic writers put their favorite characters through hell and break them. Broken, they are no longer the characters one loved.

My muse is headed down a dark path, and yet it's very hard to write this plot without doing serious damage to Lulu. I want her strong. But how strong is she?

I guess I pushed Auron to the limit in the last one, so there's a precedent. I hadn't really expected to be putting them through hell, I'd meant for these to be a joyous celebration of life and pelasure in the teeth of death!

Comments

Hope this helps...

[shanastay.livejournal.com]

Trekqueen asked me to take a look at this and see if I can help. I understand why she linked me. In my fanfiction my main female characters (granted they're original) have all been through hell and back (to include gang-rape as well as other N/C situations). I understand how emotionally invested you become with writing. The entire reason I started writing was as an outlet for traumas experienced. You (re)live the events with the character and if you're doing it right it tends to invade the rest of your life, at least until you get the "resolution" portion written.

Here is my theory about that. You are worried that by putting the character through a traumatic event that it will break her and she won't be the character you love. I propose a different perspective. Yes, there is a breaking/broken point, but the reason we love strong characters is their ability to OVERCOME both physical and personal obstacles. Yes, the event changes them, but the extent of the change is within your control. You can have it totally destroy them and their entire life, or you can use it to make the character stronger, harder (if you want).

Events affect you only to the extent you allow them to. For a major trauma, there is/has to be a period of recovery (how and where and how long up to you), but they can recapture their lives, of course with lingering influences, but the extent of those are your prerogative. Speaking personally, this is what I've discovered: You have a CHOICE. YOu can be a VICTIM or a SURVIVOR. I chose to be a survivor. I can and have had "normal" relationships. It IS possible. Most important is realizing that the event HAS impacted you and recognizing how it has changed/shaped your reactions. Initially, I withdrew into myself, putting the pieces back and making things stronger. Unfortunately there is a lot of truth is the saying, "What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger." IF we let those things strengthen us. The most powerful (for lack of a better word) women I know have survived the most horrific of events and OVERCOME them!

Getting past the past makes you stronger. Looking back, if I could undo what was done, I wouldn't! As it, and the subsequent choices, shaped me into what I am today. And that's a pretty damn independent, strong-willed, confident woman.

Am I making ANY sense?