Date: 2009-07-04 09:10 pm (UTC)
I am biased. I always think that writing for a clever audience is more rewarding. There's a difference between vagueness and subtlety and I think that given the way you discuss this story, you have a pretty intricate plot weaving behind the things you actually let stay in your final draft. I would go with your instincts. Remember that fanfiction is often an interest of teens. They will thank you in years to come when they re-read the story and pick up on more subtleties they missed the first time. This is a story that would stand up to re-reading.

If there's anything you're worried about not making sense, by all means, feel free to ask me about it and I'll let you know what I think. When you've spent a lot of time around a piece of writing, I know it can be hard to be sure if it really is clear or it's just clear to you.

With regards, Elma: if by Mary Sue you mean you sympathize with her, well, I like Elma just the way you are writing her. She isn't the sort of Mary Sue I usually hear about who is perfect and sparkly. If you're writing yourself into her, you're definitely a person who views herself with a critical eye and I think you should carry on as you're going.

I'm really enjoying re-reading this. I have to admit, the chapter count was a little daunting at first, but I remember how wonderful it was and why I came out of 'fanfic retirement' to read it in the first place.
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