Interesting start. I like the concept of machina-using raiders invoking the old terror of Sin by striking randomly at sea -- it seems like something that could well actually happen. Also love seeing the thought process that caused Lulu to use Bio (I'm a sucker for working game mechanics into stories).
I haven't seen the original WiP, so I don't know where it's going and am quite curious!
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branchandroot
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Date: 2006-10-16 02:06 pm (UTC)I haven't seen the original WiP, so I don't know where it's going and am quite curious!