As the last peals died away, they slipped out, threading corridors where tardy acolytes scampered towards chapel. A few tardy acolytes scampered towards chapel, heads down and hands furled in their sleeves. Those few who made eye contact were too tongue-tied to offer more than a reverent bow. None noticed that Yevon's prayer was not returned.
It seems as though the 2 sentences regarding scampering acolytes is redundant between 'threading corridors' - and the start of that next sentence.
Other than that, everything flowed well and continues the onslaught of wave sweeping forward, gaining height, mass and an over-whelming sense of destiny.
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branchandroot
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Date: 2019-11-24 01:37 am (UTC)As the last peals died away, they slipped out, threading corridors where tardy acolytes scampered towards chapel. A few tardy acolytes scampered towards chapel, heads down and hands furled in their sleeves. Those few who made eye contact were too tongue-tied to offer more than a reverent bow. None noticed that Yevon's prayer was not returned.
It seems as though the 2 sentences regarding scampering acolytes is redundant between 'threading corridors' - and the start of that next sentence.
Other than that, everything flowed well and continues the onslaught of wave sweeping forward, gaining height, mass and an over-whelming sense of destiny.