Crack Pairing: Brainstorming Session

[auronlu]

Survey alert!

What's the most bizarre Final Fantasy pairing you can think of?

I suddenly thought of Kimahri/Shelinda, continuing The Day Kimahri Finally Got Some Lovin' (6/6/06... so much for the antichrist...) And then there's Seyrikku, but we so won't go there.

What crack pair can you think of?

And maybe then someone will go, "AUGH! That's so awful I have to write it!" and we'll have more reasons to gouge our eyes out.

Or, more likely, someone else will say, "There's a whole community devoted to that (link)".


Apologies if this has been done before; I'm still fairly new to FF fandom.

Comments

[lassarina]

FF4: CidxRydia.
FF6: BanonxRelm (ick)
FF7: ReevexYuffie
FF8: SeiferxLibrary Girl
FF9: KujaxArtania
FF10/X-2: PainexShelinda
FFT: GafgarionxAeris

[shahrizai.livejournal.com]

FF6: BanonxRelm (ick)

It will never, ever be as bad as the RelmxInterceptor. Never.

I also contribute:

FF5: crossdressing!Faris/that tree final boss
FF7: Jenova/Reeve
FF8: Ultimecia/Angelo
FF9: Anyone/Quina
FF10: Cid/Wakka/Brother

[shahrizai.livejournal.com]

Wait, I rescind the FF9 one. Quina/Fratley. With Quina topping. Oh yeah, there's the crack!

[lassarina]

I agree. Nothing is ever as bad as RelmxInterceptor.

Ultimecia/Angelo? *rofl*

And since we're on the topic of wacky pairings, one to amuse you: HyacinthexJoscelin. Or possibly Cesare StregazzaxPercy de SomervillexBarquiel L'Envers?

[shahrizai.livejournal.com]

HyacinthexJoscelin

Don't even. I can't stand Hyacinthe, and I already run tail at the mere hint of fanfic for the books. And I daresay Joscelin being with anyone other than Phedre in canon is a sign of the Apocalypse, and Waldemar Selig is coming to get us all from beyond the grace.

Cesare StregazzaxPercy de SomervillexBarquiel L'Envers

Barquiel/Percy I could see on a military campaign as young, foolish soldiers. But Barquiel would demand top. And Cesare actually makes a decent devout Catholic, so if he was going to bugger anyone, he'd be stepping in line for adolescent Alcuin. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

[shahrizai.livejournal.com]

Or grave. That'd work too.

[lassarina]

Oh, I would never write it. I too shudder and screech at the notion of fanfic for the books (or really for any book, ever). I just find it amusing.

Why the Hyacinthe hatred?

[shahrizai.livejournal.com]

He has the Aladdin complex - street urchin who manages to find a better lot in life by sheer luck while remaining cheerful and oblivious to a lot of the problems around him. I think it may also be that I had a total Delaunay complex when I read Dart, and Hyacinthe is near the opposite of him which probably rankled me (you're taking away precious characterization of Anafiel and his household!) and he did get in the way of Phedre/Joscelin a bit. I do have a grudging respect for him now that he's with Drustan's sister and out of the main picture.

[lassarina]

I'm not sure I agree, but fair enough ^_^

[owlmoose.livejournal.com]

The Day Kimahri Finally Got Some Lovin'

:D

Best. Day. Ever!

Anyway. So hinikuish has been threatening to write Paine/Leblanc. That might not be the *most* bizarre crack pairing ever but it's definitely up there. I suppose Paine/Logos or Paine/Ormi would be worse.

Once when I was really bored I generated a random pairing list for FFX/X-2. Some good crack in there. I should post it some day.

[mneme-forgets.livejournal.com]

I assume you mean FFX. Because I will mention that Rinoa/Angelo amuses the heck out of me, because I am disturbed and twisted but I don't think you will know what I mean.

So yeah, hypello/shoopuf. Hee hee hee.

[auronlu.livejournal.com]

I saw a Rinoa/Angelo/Quistis listed in ff_press a few weeks ago and clicked.

I will utterly take the fifth on what I expected that story was going to be about.

So anyway, no, I wasn't necessarily restricting it to X, I just only know 8 and X and the first disk's worth of 7 so I won't be able to grin and shake my head at some of the others quite so much.

Speaking of which, I'd say Selphie/Fuijin, except that I've seen it done well.

Come to think of it, Cid/Edea was crack in canon. Why... the... heck... did she have a washed-up Robin Williams for a husband?!

[mneme-forgets.livejournal.com]

Well, I would think that the answer is maybe that very few people want to marry a sorceress for the right reasons. Yes, it must've been *love.* :)

Selphie/Fujin done well? Sounds intriguing.

[saharasnow.livejournal.com]

Tidus/Seymour
Tidus/Kimahri
Wakka/Shelinda (it might be kind of cute actually....)
Rikku/Kinoc

..... I think I can come up with more, but I guess its better I don't. I think my brain just exploded just thinking of them.

[muggy-mountain.livejournal.com]

Rikku/Kinoc? Oh YEVON. Haha.

[saharasnow.livejournal.com]

I can think of more, but I think its better to keep them to myself unless I want to scare a whole shit of people away [laughs]

[animecrush.livejournal.com]

Humm

FF7: Aeris/Don Corneo, Jenova/Rude, Cloud/Scarlet, Tifa/Palmer, Red XIII/Vincent

FF10: Seymour/Shelinda, Seymour/Kimahri

Hum thats all I can come up with at the moment ^^ I'll be sure to think of some more though...

[cendrillo.livejournal.com]

Cloud/Scarlet is kinda hot.

omgtheirloveissoblond.

~Cendri

[lynnxlady.livejournal.com]

Heh... once I started to write Wakka/Shelinda (already listed!). Bizarre stuff I might actually be interested in seeing even if only for novelty value:

FFX - Yunalesca/Yuna, Yunalesca/Seymour (evil dead people should stick together?)

FFX-2 - Yuna/Nooj, Leblanc/Rikku

Most bizarre, period, whether or not I'd care to see it: Oh man. Kimahri/some human, although you already have the corner on the Kimahri smut market (and it was hot! The descriptions of the cat tongue & the overfull pain-pleasure of dealing with Ronso-sized parts...were really very hot. I'm not quite sure how I should feel about this). Tobli/Ormi, for FFX-2. In that order, Tobli on top, otherwise it would be a mess. (No, I can't entirely believe I just thought about that :P)

[lassarina]

SeymourxYunalesca? oh, with the HOT.

[rustehroll.livejournal.com]

*shudder* Sey/Rikku oh gods alive I must.

[muggy-mountain.livejournal.com]

I thought you were working on that?

I am eagerly awaiting, oh yes. :D

[rustehroll.livejournal.com]

>D yes.

It's still hard to find a plausible reasoning for those types of pairings.

[muggy-mountain.livejournal.com]

Mika/Rikku would be pretty strange.

And I read a Tidus/Jecht once.

[auronlu.livejournal.com]

cupcakemonster is a brilliant writer who can make the most incredible things work.

I just thought of another she might be able to pull off, and might even enjoy writing.

Gippal/Auron

*brain explodes*

[pyrefly-sky.livejournal.com]

My vote has to go for the ever so wrong either Rikku or Kimarhi with that old guy who wanders around (Maechen?!)

Or random character and Chocobo...

*is a pervert*

[shahrizai.livejournal.com]

We all know Lucil loves her chocobo a mite too much.

[sunsetsred.livejournal.com]

Uhhh... those are crack pairings? Well, some of them are, but for the most part a lot of those are... normal. Or at least, widely accepted.

Worst crack I read was RedXIII/Cid yaoi. OMFG.

[auronlu.livejournal.com]

"Uh...those are crack pairings?"
I have a feeling that this quote is going to get more ironic as people keep adding replies up above.

I'm scared now. *points at animecrush somewhere back there* Somehow I could image poor naive Shelinda getting bowled over by Seymour when he was prowling to the fridge some night in the mood for a late-night snack.

And no, I'm not writing it. There are limits.



Or, we could just go for complete crossover crack and have a CidxCidxCidxCidxCid scene....

[trekqueen.livejournal.com]

What about Jecht (as Sin) / Yuna. That could be quite frightening and creepy. ^_^

[replica.livejournal.com]

I wrote a Jecht/Shoopuf crack!fic once... Also attempted a Buddy/Barkeep but I never finished it. and it's not terribly cracky, but I've always wanted to read a Tidus/Isaaru fic xD I keep hoping that SOMEDAY someone will write one :D

I've also read Auron/Malboro. Oh my poor eyes D:

[auronlu.livejournal.com]

Dear gods. I'm morbidly curious now.


And Isaaru's such a nice feller (X; X-2 makes me wince), he deserves to be shipped more often. Even if my bafflemennt with excess boy-parts makes it hard for me to enjoy Yaoi.

[replica.livejournal.com]

Curious about which? If you mean the Auron thing, all I remember is that it was written by Laylah. And it was very smutty o.o

And I'd love to see Isaaru shipped more often too. It doesn't even have to be yaoi. I've also always liked the idea of Isaaru/Yuna. Heck, I'd be satisfied with Isaaru genfic :D I adore Isaaru in both games.

[auronlu.livejournal.com]

*snorks at the shoopuf fic*

Oh dear. The comment of your friend reminded me that I've seen at least one ghastly fic which had LuluxMoogle somewhere in it.

*twitchy*

Never trust those moogles. They're evil. Someday there will be a FF where they and the cactuars and Tonberries turn out to have been controlling things all along.

[replica.livejournal.com]

aw, moogles are cute xD although not cute enough for me to want to read a luluxmoogle fic. I didn't even know that existed. that... breaks my poor brain. ouch.

[rayiroth.livejournal.com]

Red XIII/Aeris.

Crack because, that's what Hojo wanted. How the hell would that even work?

[auronlu.livejournal.com]

Unsurprisingly, someone has written it.
Surprisingly, someone wrote it VERY WELL (http://ellnyx.livejournal.com/180108.html). (Warning: not exactly consensual on either of their parts.)