You write such lovely descriptions. I can see and feel the scene you start this chapter off with. Sinscales like maggots is an excellent simile.
I think the banter between Rikku and Gippal is a nice bit of comic relief. I like the way you paused to describe a farewell from each of the party members venturing into Sin.
The scene where Juno and Nooj are found to be safe is also excellent for clearing up the tension of the horrifying images of Sin. You're very good at striking the balance between breakneck paced action and moments of relative peace.
I like the way Rikku pops up to save the day and shows herself a veteran of the spooky inside of Sin. Again, you describe the eerie landscape beautifully.
I really enjoy the significance of the ochre targe as a 'gift' from Lulu. I also liked your descriptions of the battles that can occur inside of Sin.
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I think the banter between Rikku and Gippal is a nice bit of comic relief. I like the way you paused to describe a farewell from each of the party members venturing into Sin.
The scene where Juno and Nooj are found to be safe is also excellent for clearing up the tension of the horrifying images of Sin. You're very good at striking the balance between breakneck paced action and moments of relative peace.
I like the way Rikku pops up to save the day and shows herself a veteran of the spooky inside of Sin. Again, you describe the eerie landscape beautifully.
I really enjoy the significance of the ochre targe as a 'gift' from Lulu. I also liked your descriptions of the battles that can occur inside of Sin.