I have finally found kink.

[auronlu]

<Overshare>I never could figure out what people meant by "kinks."

I have finally discovered two in myself.

1) Magic. I love sensual/empathic descriptions of being connected to, channeling, using magic, particularly elemental, nature-derived magic. I used to sit out on my porch and watch thunderstorms...even hurricanes...roll in. I wrote gobs of bad poetry about the way the wind would move through the forest, the flare of the lightning, the rain sheeting down, the way these 150-foot oaks and maples would bend and move like muscles of some enormous beast. I'd call in the storm, call on the elements, call on my OFCs and dragons and unicorns and phoenixes and all that archetypal crap. I had no idea what I was doing, I just...did it. Rain on my skin, snow on my face... I loved it.
Later I fell head over heels in love with Hawaii after watching the volcano erupting, the lava creeping down the hills at night. And even now, I have a guilty pleasure in watching wildfires. I love experiencing earthquakes. "Hi, Mom!" Yeah. Heck, that's probably why the old MYST/RIVEN series hooked me so much: the landscapes were numinous.
I think nearly every piece of erotica I've written involves the elements -- magic or water, or at least a very present forest -- in one way or another.

2) Hair. Braids. I miss getting my hair brushed by someone else. Maybe it's because my scalp is about the only part of me that doesn't hurt. Anywhere else, the touch is a) pleasant but I'm having to block out accompanying aches and pains (not necessarily the spot being touched, but arthritic back, hips and knees make just about any position uncomfortable) or b) easing pain, which is not quite the same thing as stimulation. Also, I just love long hair. Especially braids.

Which, of course, explains why I'm permanently stuck on Lulu.
</Overshare>

Comments

[auronlu.livejournal.com]

You are certainly entitled to your opinion!

But a) I wasn't ranking anything as superior/inferior-- that would require me to be comparing my tastes to some other point of reference
b) I don't see how "vanilla" relates my post. I suppose you could label the hair-kink as "vanilla", but...why bother?
c) Possibly I still don't understand what others mean by "kink." I mean something rather deeper and more complex -- in a Jungian sense -- than "what someone really likes". However, I'm not so much interested in defining and debating labels, as exploring/evoking/expressing the thing labeled.

Does that make sense?

[paperclipchains.livejournal.com]

Er, well, I wasn't really intending to bash you or whatever. Mostly I was just making a point about fandom's relationship with kink (and how it shapes its participants understandings of what does and does not constitute as kink). I realize that you weren't ranking anything, I was mostly just commenting on a pattern I've seen. Yes, there are things we find ourselves drawn and attached to that extend beyond "what someone really likes," but what I'm reading here it doesn't seem like either has an inherent sexualization. I mean, they can both be present in erotica, which would probably lead to increased enjoyment but I don't understand why they need to be broadly classified as kink and I tend to point the finger at fandom culture for that, which was what I was grumbling about.

Anyway tl;dr no offense meant!

[auronlu.livejournal.com]

Meh. Sorry. I reacted strongly to the finger-pointing, while still at the same time seeing what you mean.

I've had a bucketload of analytical psychology and depth psychology and all that crap, and I had much the same reaction to Freud (or not so much Freud, as the people who came after Freud): it's not all about the sex! Some powerful feelings, obsessions, complexes are non-sexual.

Yet there is at the same time a flavor of...passion? that can only be described as sexual. Sure, those two things I identified as "kinks" affect me in non-sexual contexts. But I suddenly realized they are not only nearly always present in my erotic writing, but they are nearly always the most important, major, or at least a powerful source of sexual stimulation. They're common threads, underlying notes, like the drone of a bagpipe or the drum-beat in most rock music. Whereas sexual positions, acts, the gender of the partners vary a lot more in my writing.

Anyway, not to make a mountain out of a molehill, it's just that I think maybe, while I have shared your POV about "What the heck is a kink? It doesn't exist!", I am dimly grasping that there could be something in one's erotic proclivities that is bedrock, a touchstone, a catalyst, a core. And it may not necessarily be something that is literally part of the sexual act or experience; it just has to be something that evokes/inspires/triggers/arouses/enhances the feelings of that experience.