auronlu: (Lady)
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Title: Love Her and Despair
Chapter 21
: Love Her and Despair
Final Fantasy X
Characters:
Auron, Isaaru, Maroda, Elma, Rikku, Gippal
Rating:
G
Word Count: 3500
Summary: Revelations from Yuna's pilgrimage.
Navigation: Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Map of Pilgrimage - Links to All Chapters

Our Story So Far: On a rampage to destroy the temples of Yevon, Sin transports Isaaru and companions to Bikanel Island, where Wakka and Rikku are raising a family. Gippal gives Rikku and Isaaru's party a lift to Baaj to the south, where Sin has just attacked the new Al Bhed Home.




The small flyer wobbled under the weight of extra passengers, punctuated by Rikku's swearing in two langauges. Maroda rode white-knuckled; his brother with serene resignation. Elma, the machina-phobe, clung to her seat with a dour expression, but gave herself away with a loud whoop when the flier hopped over a sand-wyrm that unexpectedly rose up behind a crumbling ruin. Auron simply played barnacle. Gippal was quiet too, for once, focused on steering for the sake of the two passengers with no seats, straps, or anything else to keep them from flying over the back rail if the craft dropped suddenly.

They were streaking towards a gray hump emerging from the shoulders of the dunes. The shape soon resolved itself into a bulbous, unlovely hulk of an airship with the profile of an oversized bathtub, its hull a crude patchwork of added fins, engine pods, exhaust ports and mismatched panels. It was anchored on the southern tip of the island with the bulk of its fuselage hanging out over open water. A loading ramp extended from a rear entrance down to the beach. Gippal banked sharply, angling towards it. For a terrifying moment, a collision seemed certain. Then the flyer slowed to a crawl and slithered up the ramp into the belly of the ship, coming to an abrupt halt against a stack of barrels. The engines roared in the metal bay, then faded to a whine and silence. Deafened passengers roused themselves and tried to make out their dim surroundings. Floor-to-ceiling stacks of crates and gun racks loomed on all sides, making it a wonder they had not struck anything on the way in.

"Well, here we are," Gippal said, hopping up onto the flyer's windshield to kick a knob set in the wall. The ramp and cargo bay doors began to close with a hiss of hydraulics. A few dingy amber light panels flickered to life in the ceilingas the square of daylight behind them narrowed and vanished.

"You gotta get a new paint job for this bucket, Gippal," Rikku said, standing and stretching. "It looks like a flying turd."

"Flies like one, too." Gippal dropped to the floor, circling around the small craft to secure it with magnetic clamps. "Joyride's over, people. Head upstairs. I'll be there in a minute."

Rikku pushed past Auron, scrambling over the side and heading for a long ladder scaling the forward bulkhead. Auron climbed up after her. The others followed slowly, feeling their way in the alien environment. They emerged in a dim corridor lined by steel doors staggered at intervals on both sides of the hallway. Double doors at the far end opened onto the flight deck. Here the Yevonites pulled up short. The walls, floor, and ceiling were made of a clear material that looked like glass but clanked like metal. There were four crew stations arranged in a vertical diamond in the nose of the ship: a pilot's seat suspended from the ceiling, a gunner's station inset in a well below, and navigation and operations consoles on either side.

Rikku slid into the ops station and started pecking at the controls. A sphere of blue light materialized above her fingers, a smaller version of the scanner on Cid's airship. "Oh," she said, glancing over her shoulder at the logjam of people on the short tongue of metal in front of the doors. "Take any seat but the top one. Don't touch anything."

Gippal emerged from the back as they were settling in. He chuckled at the shellshocked expressions of his Yevonite passengers. "First time flying, eh?"

Elma daringly lowered herself into the gunner's bubble with nothing beneath her but ocean. She looked up with a crazed grin. "Wow. I think I'm gonna have to do all kinds of atonement when we get back to Bevelle."

"We, uh, were on Cid's airship once," Maroda said, helping Isaaru into the navigator's seat. "But we couldn't see out like this."

"Oh, that thing." Gippal leaned past Isaaru to key in a few commands, calling up a small map and adjusting a red cursor to select the easternmost of a cluster of islands south of Bikanel. "The Fahrenheit's a luxury yacht. This slug's an old army transport—with a few customizations. Hey, Rikku, you remember how to work the scanner?"

"I'm on it." She waved Maroda over. "Take a look. Red dots are fiends. Green dots are alive. Green dots with a white circle around 'em are alive plus metal, which means people. Simple, eh?"

"Or a sand wyrm that's eaten a machina," Gippal said, climbing into the pilot's seat and pushing the steering yoke forward. The airship swooped lower, swinging out over the waves and back inland. Dunes began to scroll beneath them, gradually accelerating to a blur. "Sing out if you spot anything."

"I'm not sure if Lucil's carrying anything metal," Elma said, squinting at the desert rushing between her feet.

"Boots," Maroda suggested. "Buckles. Her cane. Is that enough for the sensors to pick up?"

"Should be," Gippal said. "Oh, that reminds me...Rikku, what's Nooj done to get himself locked up this time? He got left behind when Home was evacuated. Cid blew me off about it."

"Oh," she said. "Gip, Nooj had another fit and shot up the R&D lab. Landed Shinra in the infirmary. Pops is still trying to decide what to do about him. He's a genius with ancient machina, but if Shinra can't figure out what's making him fritz, I'm afraid he may get his death wish." She sighed. "Assuming Sin didn't save us the trouble."

"The Nooj?" Elma said. "He's still kicking? I thought he was dead."

"Not for lack of trying," Gippal said. "Hiddo umt sukchukkan."

Isaaru eased out of his seat and paced back to Auron, who had planted himself against the rear bulkhead beside the doors.

"Sir Auron?" he said, lowering his voice. "Your thoughts?"

"We're running out of time."

"Yes. But we must make certain that Pacce and Lucil are not lost in this Yevon-forsaken wilderness." Isaaru smiled at Auron's sour expression. "I know: Sin won't wait. But in all honestly, my friend, do you believe we are ready to face Sin?"

"No." Auron grimaced. "This pilgrimage is going nowhere."

"As I thought," Isaaru said, unruffled. "I must speak with Elder Cid. His machina may be our only chance of saving Bevelle."

"We won't reach it in time. Sin's heading north. We're headed south." Auron considered. "Except...its next target may be Macalania. And it's expending a great deal of power. Eventually it has to rest."

"May Yevon grant it so." Isaaru bowed in Yevon's prayer, then glanced towards Rikku. "I'm eager to learn what is on that sphere. Do you know, Sir Auron?"

"Probably."

"You don't sound pleased." Isaaru tilted his head. "Are you afraid of what it will show us?"

"You'd learn sooner or later," Auron said, shrugging. "I just hope 'sooner' turns out better than 'later.'"



An hour later, they had found nothing more than a few machina, a survey team in the ruins of Old Home, a territorial zu that kept banking off the windshield until they gave up on that sector. Elma was starting to drift off after miles of featureless sand. Gippal nudged her with his foot. "Yo. Don't touch that, lady, or you'll really have something to atone for." He leaned back, turning to Isaaru. "Well, that's the whole island. You folks satisfied? We've got to turn for Home sooner or later. Cid's gonna blow a gasket as it is."

"But—" Maroda said.

Elma jerked away from the gun controls and exhaled, staring glumly at the monotonous landscape spread out below them. "I know how you feel, Captain, believe me. But we've got a job to do, eh? Pacce's a trooper; he'll be fine wherever he is. And the general wouldn't want us wasting time on her."

"We must pray that they were left behind in Djose," Isaaru said. "Meanwhile, Sin continues its pilgrimage. We must resume ours."

Rikku gave the soft-spoken summoner a dubious look, but kept her mouth shut. She rolled her eyes at Gippal.

"I'll take that as a yes," Gippal said, throwing the steering yoke hard to one side. Elma gave a yelp as the ground tilted steeply and a burst of acceleration pressed them into their seats. Maroda went skidding backwards on the glassy floor. The dunes below quickly gave way to reef, then open water, dropping away rapidly as the ship climbed.

"Whew," Rikku said. "You've been tinkering with the engines again, haven't you?"

Gippal flashed a smug grin, easing back on the steering yoke. "You'd better believe it. Though I can't take full credit. I'm testing a new booster design for Shinra."

Maroda righted himself with a scowl at Auron, who had not budged. "Give us a little warning next time, eh?" Maroda said, coming forward again as the ship began to level off. "So how long till we reach Home?"

"We've got about six hours," Gippal said, easing back on the steering yoke. He pressed a button, pushed away the controls and propped his boots on the handlebars. "Phew. I'm beat. I've locked us on cruise. Rikku, think you could handle things up here if I crash for a while? I haven't slept in two days."

"Sure, leave it to me!" Rikku giggled at Elma's expression: the woman's eyes had rounded out to spheres at the word crash. "Don't worry. I know how to fly this thing. I just can't land!"

"Oh, great," Elma said.

"All righty, then. No rearranging the control preferences while I'm out." Gippal climbed down from the pilot's seat, giving Rikku's rump a passing swat. "I'll see you in a few hours. Buzz me if the scanner starts pinging." With a wave, he ambled past Auron and disappeared through the doors.

"Well." Maroda cleared his throat. "Since we've got some time—"

"Gotcha," Rikku said, digging Wakka's sphere out of her beltpouch. "Gimme a sec. I think I can project the recording onto the forward screens." She popped the sphere into the panel in front of her and hesitated, turning around in her seat. "Um...Auron? If you've got anything to say, better do it now."

Auron shook his head. "Just do it."

The breathtaking panorama of ocean and sky was suddenly obscured by a floor-to-ceiling hologram, a nebulous darkness spattered with stars and swirling lights. At first, it was impossible to decipher what they were looking at. Then the lower half of a girl's face flashed into view, filling most of the screen. Elma gasped. Thirteen years had passed since anyone had seen the High Summoner alive, but her etherial, sweet smile was unmistakable.

Rikku hunkered down, folding her arms tightly around herself.

The view tilted crazily as Yuna set the sphere down and stepped back, revealing a night-shrouded landscape of rubble and broken spires. The darkness was not merely black, but a tapestry of somber colors too subtle to distinguish. Rivers of pyreflies flowed over the shadowed ruins in sluggish eddies, weaving across the shells of pulverized walls and broken pavement. It a was beautiful, terrible, unreal vision, a dream flirting with the shores of nightmare.

"Zanarkand?" Maroda said in a hushed whisper.

Isaaru rose to his feet in reverent awe, sweeping his arms in a formal bow.

Floating before them, Yuna's slim form seemed to soar through a daylit expanse of open sea and puffy clouds. As their eyes began to adjust to the double image, a dark figure standing behind her suddenly stepped forward into focus. Yuna's companion was completely camouflaged by her black garments, so that her pale shoulders, neck and head seemed to be hanging in mid-air. Black hair falling at a slant over her left eye reduced her face to a white triangle.

"The Lady," Isaaru said. "In Yevon's name, who...?"

"Hello, everyone!" Yuna said brightly, clasping her hands and beaming out at them. "Um...I just want to say...thank you so much. And I'm sorry. Lulu and I have gone on ahead. But before you go chasing after us, I...I want to explain. Please, hear us out."

"Giving you a bigger head-start," Rikku grumbled under her breath.

"I know..." Yuna took a long breath, steadying herself. "I know this isn't what we talked about last night. But we've come so far. All the way to Zanarkand. I can't stop now. If I did, all we've been through— all the sacrifices of the people we've lost— would be for nothing." She trailed off and turned away, fingering a charm necklace with a Y-shaped design. Lulu opened her arms and held Yuna until she regained her composure. "And now...Sir Auron says the pilgrimage itself is a lie. But fighting Yunalesca won't bring my father back, or save Sir Jecht, or help Spira."

"A lie?"" Maroda said, turning to glare at the white-haired guardian. Auron did not answer, transfixed by the sight of old ghosts. He had stepped away from the wall. His detached mask had fallen away, replaced by raw, impotent anger so bleak that it seemed to hold a tinge of madness.

Yuna, stubborn and certain beyond the reach of any protests, kept talking. "Sir Auron, you were right: there is another way. We've talked it over. Lulu's found a way to break the cycle, really and truly. When we've finished, I'll be with Tidus, she'll be with Chappu, and Spira will be free of Sin...forever. So you mustn't be sad for us."

"Yunie," Rikku breathed, eyes starting to water.

"But we'll need every one of you for this to work. So I've got to ask you to help me one last time, although it's the hardest thing I've ever asked you to do. Please. Help me...help us end Spira's sorrow. I know we can do it, together." Again Yuna's smile flashed out like a pyrefly's gleam.

Lulu placed a hand on her shoulder and began to speak in the same measured tones that she had once used to instruct Tidus in Spira's mysteries. "Sir Auron has given us a weapon possessed by no summoner or guardian before: the truth. At last we know what the Final Summoning means, and we can prepare for it. Yuna and I will vanquish Sin. Then it will be up to you to defeat the next Sin, before Yu Yevon can replenish it. Listen closely." Another audience, one that neither Yuna nor Lulu could have anticipated, held their breaths. "In the battle against Sir Jecht, I shall expend as much power as I can. Thus, when Yu Yevon joins with me, I will be weak, and Yu Yevon at his most vulnerable. That is when you must—"

"Jecht?" Elma said, bewildered. "Yu...Yevon?"

A gruff voice cut through Lulu's speech. "You're not going."

Isaaru started, jarred from his dumbfounded trance by a familiar voice. But this, too, was part of the recording. A younger image of Auron stepped into the edge of the field of view.

"Sir Auron?" Yuna said. "You would stop me now, after guiding us all this way?"

"No." He stepped towards her, looming over the petite summoner. "If you are resolved, I am still your guardian. But there is no reason for Lulu to die."

Yuna flinched. "I...I don't want anyone else to die. But if it truly ends Sin forever..."

"Sir Auron," Lulu said, interposing herself between them. "I have trained for this moment all my life, although I did not understand clearly until now what I was preparing for. When Yuna chose the summoner's path, I made my choice, too." Her hypnotic voice rang with conviction as she turned back to Yuna, holding her friend's eyes. "I told you the morning we left: This is our journey."

"Lulu," Yuna said, hugging her.

"I made a promise to Jecht," Auron said. "And there is no need to sacrifice another guardian, when—"

"Which is precisely why you cannot be the Final Aeon," Lulu said, cutting him off. "Above all others, you cherish Sir Jecht and Lord Braska. Loyalty to them is what brought you here. I came here for Yuna. Did you not say that the bond between summoner and summoned is what gives the aeon its power? But even if Lady Yunalesca accepts you, and what you are—" she gave him a pointed look— "how could we hope to kill you, when nothing else has? Please, Auron. Help us. Don't hinder us. The others may awaken at any moment."

He stared down at her. Viewers waited with bated breath for history to reaffirm itself. Finally, he gave a grudging nod. His answer was couched in a surprisingly gentle whisper. "Let's go."

Yuna smiled fondly at both of them. "It...has been an honor, Sir Auron."

Marching away, the two guardians fell behind their summoner in lockstep. Forgotten, the abandoned sphere kept recording until they were swallowed by Zanarkand's ruins and its pyrefly custodians. Back on the flight deck, Rikku wiped her eyes, reached forward, and switched off the recording. The unobstructed view of sun-washed, cloud-studded blue sky returned.

"So," Elma said into the heavy silence, when no one else seemed inclined to break it. "About how many years should I atone, do you think, for hearing that? Operation Mi'ihen took three."

"Don't you get it?" Rikku said. "Yevon's a stupid lie. It's a big fat leech that eats guardians and summoners!"

"Hey!" Elma said, rising indignantly out of the gunner's bubble. "That's blasphemy!"

"Elma, Rikku, please," Isaaru said. Even now, he sounded unperturbed, although his smile was melancholy. "The truth, it seems, is that love defeats Sin. It transcends even Yevon: both the foe whose ravages inspired our religion, and the wise teachings that arose from that unpromising beginning."

"Sir?" Elma said. "Do I wanna know what you just said, or can I just forget it and wait for orders?"

"You've gotta be kidding," Rikku said.

"The truth," Maroda said, turning and storming towards Auron, "is that he wasn't going to tell us any of this. So when were you going to let us in on the big secret? In Zanarkand? After me or Pacce volunteered for the Final Summoning? After Isaaru was dead?"

Auron sagged back against the wall, his face hidden by his collar. As Maroda reached him, he slid to the floor, doubled over. A single pyrefly drifted from the folds of his coat. When Maroda stooped over him, Auron suddenly lashed out, swinging a wild punch that Maroda dodged with a startled curse.

"What the—?" Rikku said.

"The toxin, maybe?" Elma said.

Exasperated, Maroda threw himself at Sir Auron. He fell upon the older man with his full weight channelled into a knee to the gut, his other knee pinning the man's arm to the floor. Maroda seized his collar, barking into his face. "Just what are you playing at, old man? Are you trying to stop Sin...or protect it? No, her! The Lady's your girlfriend, is that it? You've been talking to her all along, haven't you? Haven't you?" More pyreflies floated loose as Maroda shook him. Auron snarled with bared teeth, freed his right arm from his coat and grasped for the man's throat.

"Maroda!" Isaaru said, starting towards them. "Sir Auron, stop!"

"Toxin, probably," Rikku said, slipping off her seat and edging towards the scuffle. "I guess if Lulu doesn't make 'em horny, she gives 'em PMS. Isaaru, hold up! Everyone, hold your breath!" She tossed a small pellet towards the grappling combatants.

There was a bang and a bright yellow flash, accompanied by an acrid stench. Everyone's vision tunnelled. Isaaru staggered. Maroda and Auron went down, collapsing on top of one another in a boneless heap blocking the doorway. Rikku sat down on them, kicking her heels against the floor with an air of triumph. "Wow. Is there something in the teachings that says guardians have to be blockheads?"



Next Chapter: The Falcon Cannot Hear
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Date: 2008-12-15 05:20 am (UTC)
ext_79737: (emptiness)
From: [identity profile] auronlu.livejournal.com
Bless you. I'm always warring with wanting you to read, because I so love to see your reaction, with not wanting to be a pest, especially since you have SCHOOL and all! I know you'll read sooner or later. :)

> I forget, do they know he's unsent? If not, I suppose they're about to find out?

Nobody here knows that Auron is unsent. Elma and Maroda have so little experience in that area that it would never cross their minds. Rikku and Isaaru have a little knowledge of unsent through experience or training, but still, there were enough other things going on here, just as when Lord Jyscal appeared, that they might miss the warning signs.

In FFX, there's a few times where Auron gives himself away to us the players, but the party is too distracted by other things happening to notice the telltales. While I like to think Lulu figured it out and just didn't say anything, in canon, Tidus is the only one that explicitly knows before the game's end. Yuna is clearly startled, so if even she is taken by surprise, I'm assuming it wasn't as obvious to the party members as it was to us.

> Lulu and Yuna, trying to go at it alone. So very them. Yuna's been known to wander off on her own like this, and Lulu's determination and intelligence would only encourage her, I suppose.

Lulu also was known to go off on her own in the game. She goes back to the Farplane several times (or at least she's always there if you stop by Guadosalam). Also, of course, Lulu went on the pilgrimage with Lady Ginnem trying to KEEP Yuna from going on pilgrimage-- in fact that was why Chappu signed up as a Crusader; Lulu went off with Ginnem while he was still alive, and he was worried about her.
So Lulu is quite capable of taking risks on her own. For a long time she tried to stop Yuna from doing that, but she says in the game, "Yuna follows her heart." "All we can do is protect her along the way...until the end." So once Yuna's determined to go forward, Lulu would follow. Small wonder she's the one who immediately offers herself for the Final Summoning.

>But oh, Auron. It seems it's getting harder and harder for him to face his past. Brings to mind him slashing the ghost of his younger self on their first tour of Zanarkand. Or had they not made it that far, in this Universe?

No, they hadn't, though it may still have happened in this version. In canon, Auron's slashing of his younger self happened when Yuna's whole party went to the Dome and faced Yunalesca. In this version, only Lulu, Yuna, and Auron made it that far. He may or may not have seen that "echo" of himself in this story. Whether or no, I definitely had that scene in mind when writing this-- it's the one time during the game when you see his composure crack, when confronted with the ghosts of the past, the friends he loved, and his utter impotence to save them.

This is the parallel moment.

You or [livejournal.com profile] owlmoose remarked at the start of this story that my Auron is surely far more weary and discouraged, after thirteen more years of hanging on by sheer will. What's behind him are TWO failures to break the cycle. As far as this Auron knows, the only force proven to destroy Sin is the Final Summoning (the Al Bhed machina certainly didn't work at Operation Mi'ihen), and Yunalesca is invincible. So for all his convictions that there must be some other way, Lulu's plan failed, and I'm not sure he has enough info to form a better one.
On top of which, Isaaru isn't the summoner Yuna was (especially without his aeons), and Maroda/Pacce are nice guys but a downgrade from Wakka/Tidus/Lulu/Kimahri. That's part of why Auron was so determined to see Wakka and Rikku-- he knows they're tough cookies. But they refuse to help this time.

"This pilgrimage is going nowhere."

If Auron despairs, he's lost. And when he sees Yuna and Lulu on that sphere, going to their deaths just as Braska and Jecht did... ow.

Incidentally, I don't think Auron knew all of what was on the sphere...he found them just before he interrupted Lulu, so he didn't hear most of what they'd said.
Edited Date: 2008-12-15 05:23 am (UTC)

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